Man Almost Faints Due to Single Flush Cistern

(SPLASH! is, for all intents and purposes, a lighthearted series that aims to communicate the importance of good water habits. Any recreation of persons, utensils, furniture, logos and writing styles is (almost) purely coincidental. Enjoy!)

1 March 2014



SPLASH!er TheFlush almost fainted when he saw that the cisterns in Waste Mall’s toilets do not have a dual flushing system.

TheFlush believes that this would lead to a lot of water wastage.

He said that something must be done to rectify the issue especially since Waste Mall is known for its multitude of bubble-tea shops, cafes and bars.

TheFlush has already written a very strongly worded email (strength level: Hulk) to the mall’s management and even carbon-copied it to the Leisure Organisations Legion of Singapore (LOLS) and to all the staff of the General Association of Health for Malls, Events and Night-Life (GAHMEN).

He even wrote multiple open letters on Facebook to the Minister of Sanitation, Hygiene and Good Fragrance, Mr Reese Saikel, regarding the issue but has yet to receive a reply.

He said,

“I had just finished drinking three cups of oolong rooibos milk tea with extra salted egg pearl and felt the need to relieve myself.”

“I got the biggest shock of my life when I realised that the toilets in this mall has only a single flush system.”

“A single flush system wastes a lot of water especially when it comes to liquid waste.”

“A dual flush system is much better because it gives me the option to choose either the long flush or reduced flush, depending on the situation.”

“If it’s liquid waste, one should use the reduced flush to not waste water.”

“I immediately wrote an email on my 7 inch tablet which I also use as my phone even though I look ridiculous when talking to someone with it.”

“After much pestering of the security guard uncle, I finally managed to get the mall management’s email address. I, of course, immediately sent the email using my extremely dependable 4G data plan.”

“The management should follow my advice as the water saved would result in a cut in their utilities bill, which may be the only thing that they care about.”


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